A few years back, I dropped into the house of a friend and was surprised when his wife said at seven in the evening that he was lying down. By that time, hearing my voice, this guy came out and said that he was absolutely fine, but having nothing much to do, was lying down. Especially since he had been a very active person and had retired just then, I was a bit perplexed. Recently I visited him again and found a total transformation - from being totally listless on the previous visit, he was back to his cheerful, lively self. I was curious to find what caused the change and found out that he now had two activities - reading and being part of a specialised online forum. From feeling sorry for himself, he now had enough things to do to keep himself busy.
Then there was this very cheerful and positive minded neighbour. He retired and moved away to another city to be with his children who were working there. He did drop in whenever he came to Chennai and I was surprised at how he had become so cynical and negative almost overnight. Conversation revealed that in the new place, he had no friends and nothing much to do.
Both these incidents had happened a few years before I myself retired and gave me clues of how to handle retirement. In my profession of teaching, I could call my own time and once I took the plunge, I made sure that there was no going back. I used the notice period in the organisation to share my expertise with whoever was willing to listen and also to straighten out all the paperwork needed to get my terminal benefits. The latter act played a huge part in my getting all my dues within about a week of my last day, incidentally.
Once I retired, I made sure I had enough things to do and enough stuff to occupy my mind. This is what I learnt from the two incidents with which I started this post. As a retired person, if one broods, i.e. looks within, one tends to become a complaint master, a cynical crotchety codger, ever interfering in all things around one, unpopular and avoided.
Looking out in my book means looking at the world around you and engaging with it. In my case, having been a prof at a b-school, for instance, I have interfaced with one or two institutions to take a couple of classes every week - helps to use my expertise and meet young people regularly. Apart from this, I try to do many things which I couldn't or didn't do earlier.
Based on this anecdotal evidence and extending this logic , I think that is the main difference between positive-minded people and negative-minded ones. The former look out while the latter look in.
Then there was this very cheerful and positive minded neighbour. He retired and moved away to another city to be with his children who were working there. He did drop in whenever he came to Chennai and I was surprised at how he had become so cynical and negative almost overnight. Conversation revealed that in the new place, he had no friends and nothing much to do.
Both these incidents had happened a few years before I myself retired and gave me clues of how to handle retirement. In my profession of teaching, I could call my own time and once I took the plunge, I made sure that there was no going back. I used the notice period in the organisation to share my expertise with whoever was willing to listen and also to straighten out all the paperwork needed to get my terminal benefits. The latter act played a huge part in my getting all my dues within about a week of my last day, incidentally.
Once I retired, I made sure I had enough things to do and enough stuff to occupy my mind. This is what I learnt from the two incidents with which I started this post. As a retired person, if one broods, i.e. looks within, one tends to become a complaint master, a cynical crotchety codger, ever interfering in all things around one, unpopular and avoided.
Looking out in my book means looking at the world around you and engaging with it. In my case, having been a prof at a b-school, for instance, I have interfaced with one or two institutions to take a couple of classes every week - helps to use my expertise and meet young people regularly. Apart from this, I try to do many things which I couldn't or didn't do earlier.
Based on this anecdotal evidence and extending this logic , I think that is the main difference between positive-minded people and negative-minded ones. The former look out while the latter look in.
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Well written Rajan i can confirm the same anecdotally
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